Illusion is needed to disguise the emptiness…

This is a very personal project addressing the deep and dark times that I have had throughout my life. I wanted to focus on three memorable times that I went through and what issues they had caused to my mental state. I had a very difficult time moving away from home, I moved out from my Doncaster family home at the age of 19, I moved to uni to pursue my career in photography. I look back now and think how insignificant I felt moving from a small town in the North to the big London city. At all times I wanted to be back with my family and where they were, however I always knew they were there and would be with me at a drop of a hat if I really didn’t want to stay.

I had a hard time adjusting and finding my identity in my first few years as a photographer. I wanted a style that I could be proud of but whatever I did, my style just didn’t seem to be developing. In recent times I have since found my style, however these a the very first images that I was proud of making and particularly contributed to my style being developed. Yet at the time I felt lost and identity-less.

The third image is about my insecurities with my hair. From a young age I used to die it bleach blonde, thinking I was one of the ‘cool kids’. I learnt the hard way and my hair soon started to fall out. The image is also about my identity and how I felt after I lost some of my hair, it took time to re-grow and be valued by myself. But eventually it grew and I am happy.

I wanted to share this post now because its been a couple of years since I did this project. I wanted to show the difference in mind-set and what changes to your attitude can effect you. I was a VERY negative person at this point and I’m feeling much better in recent months. It’s all about growth after all.



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